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Join David Spade - Blogging Live - From the 79th Annual Academy Awards.

Dear The Internet:

It's David Spade. Whatever. The 3rd season of the ShowBiz Show airs March 15th so I thought it's about time I get with 1994 technology and get a website and a TurboGrafx 16. I meant to do it last season but I got distracted by a video of a monkey smelling its finger. I realized that since the ShowBiz Show only airs on Thursday nights, there are about 160-something hours a week you'll have to spend just sitting online looking at porn. And how many hours can you really spend looking at porn? 10? 100? 1000? (Answer: C). Either way there's at least an hour a week that you'll have nothing to do.

On Sunday night, the Showbiz Show is having an Oscar party and all the writers and I will be watching and liveblogging it starting at 4PM L.A. time and going until the Oscars end. Sound fun? It will be for you, not me. I could be at a party, but I'll be with seven dudes in flannel shirts texting their wives during commercials.